Or should I just call it Fashionelle?
It would be quite fitting, actually... and, unfortunately.
A year ago I gave into temptation and subscribed to Elle. The first issue I received was not bad - nice spread, good quality color eye candy, a couple of interesting articles, and loaded with perfume scratch'n'sniffs. It even had one actual 1ml sample, albeit of much hated (not by me) Womanity by Thierry Mugler.
On the subject of Womanity...
First of all, it comes in a lovely bottle with a topper that reminds me so much of Metropolis, a 1927 cinematic masterpiece directed by Fritz Lang, a film I thoroughly enjoyed not only for its social issue theme and uberfuturistic presentation, but also for the soundtrack, one piece in particular - "Love Kills" by the late and great Freddie Mercury and Giorgio Moroder.
Just for that reminiscent moment I would buy a bottle of Womanity and, even if I did not like the scent, I'd keep the bottle for its uniqueness.
But while I see Metropolis, others see H.R. Giger, and his art, although fascinating, is not for the faint of heart.
I've read mostly unfavorable reviews, anything from "it's weird" to "it smells like cunt" (kidding you not, this one actually counted for some 30+ percent of the reviews I came across). Naturally, I was curious.
I pulled the tab off the little packet and... it wasn't bad. Strong, but not bad at all. But this is where I goofed...
I left the opened packet in a little bowl of "fume samples and assorted crap" on my desk, and I forgot about it for close to three days. By that time, the sample was dry, but it still had plenty of smell coming out of the packet.
The top note of Womanity is fig, and I like figs. Once I bought a green-colored, scented candle from Ikea; it was "fig", and I loved it. Womanity smelled very much like that candle, and I found the scent a rather pleasant one, and not in any way dirty smelling. Maybe, just maybe, that unflattering description has anything to do with the "savory" note of caviar, a salty one but, still, a "cunt"?!? Nah.
Perhaps it would have had a different effect on skin than just coming out of the packet - that I will never know until I get another sample and actually try it on.
OK, as much as I love a good digression, back to the "FashionElle".
My Elle mag was OK, however, that was pretty much it. I found it notoriously littered with full-page ads and of very little literary substance. Why, you say, was I looking for "substance" in a mag suited more to the airhead types like Miss Hilton than a mature, discerning reader like myself?
I have no idea. Like I said, it was (an online) temptation. I saw nice, colorful photos, and thought I would find some real fashion inspiration there, that's all.
So why the bloody hell did I do it again, with Fashion?
Frankly, I thought, with a title like Fashion, there will be more of actual, uhm, fashion coverage - interviews with designers, design history and how it evolved into what we wear today, perhaps some trend preditions for the upcoming season. And let's not forget good "fashionable" photos! What I found? Same fluff as in Elle - rampant, full-page ads incl. the "menstrual ones, and submoronic editorials like some dude wasting a whole page on "when you see the small penis, run!" crap. Excuse me, but everyone, their mother, and their dog know that it's not the size of a worm but how you wiggle it. So, I wonder, if the guy wrote this brainfart to deflect some attention from his own Mr.Tiny... Oh, well, whatever.
The deal with Fashion was: they would send me a trial issue to see if I liked it and, if I did, they would bill me later for two years for a grand total of 21 dollars. That 21 dollars was, apparently, a 70% off regular newsstand price. I'm thinking, 21 dollars is actually all that I would be willing to pay for this magazine but, since I got a preview, am not. Not until they get rid of half the ads (at least), and develop some interesting reading bits. Chances of that happening are, most likely, slim to none so, I might try Vogue next.
For the time being, I still have about 10 months of Elle coming, which I will not be renewing.
